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Thursday, July 28, 2016

US Government Pays $475,000 For Illegally Searching Woman's Vagina

Have you lost that loving feeling? If so, the United States federal government might just be able to help.
Before you swipe right on Tinder or update that eHarmony account, consider instead taking a quick trip out of the country.
Because on your way back home into the Land of the Free, US Customs and Border Protection will have agents standing by ready with heaps of government stimulus.
It happened to a Jane Doe (the name has been withheld to protect what little remains of her dignity), a 54-year old US citizen who had recently been on a trip to Mexico.
As she was returning home via the Cordova Bridge border crossing in El Paso, she was randomly selected for extra special screening and escorted to a private area.
I’ve been there. It’s not fun. They don’t tell you anything, and they don’t say why.
They act very aggressively and start barking orders at you as if you’re already a prison inmate.
Quite frequently you can sit there wasting away for hours. Fortunately for me, nothing particularly sinister ever happened. For Ms. Doe, it was quite the opposite.
According to the published case files, she was frisked, and then ordered to squat so that a drug-sniffing dog could check out her nether regions.
Apparently the dog liked what he smelled, because Ms. Doe was then taken to yet another room, ordered to pull down her pants, and crouch.
At that point an agent from Customs and Border Protection “inspected her anus with a flashlight.”
She was then ordered to lean backwards in a crouched position, after which another agent inserted a speculum into her vagina to search for drugs.
Another agent then “parted Ms. Doe’s vulva with her hand, pressed her fingers into Ms. Doe’s vagina, and visually examined her genitalia with a flashlight.”
They then took her to a hospital for a further 6 hours of involuntary testing, which included forcing her to have a bowel movement as they all watched, plus X-rays, CT scans, and more.
I know what you’re thinking– they probably found a treasure trove of cocaine and methamphetamine shoved deep inside Ms. Doe’s womanhood.
Except they didn’t.
Ms. Doe was “brutally probed against her will” for hours and hours without judicial oversight, due process, or even reasonable suspicion. And they found nothing.
Here’s the really disgusting part: at the end of this ordeal, they released her without charge… with one catch.

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