The only completely ludicrous conspiracy theory about Hillary Clinton's health is that there's nothing wrong with it.
Hillary Clinton’s campaign has a problem. A truth problem, to be specific. No, not the problem of being completely incapable of ever telling the truth, although that is a problem. The truth problem I’m talking about is the Clinton campaign’s inability to tell believable lies.
“But why not just ask the Clinton campaign to tell the truth?” you might ask. “Wouldn’t that be easier?”
Maybe. But these are the Clintons. If you’re a Clinton, you lie. It’s what you do. Expecting them to not lie is a fool’s errand. But given the amount of time the Clintons have spent in politics lying to the public–somewhere in the neighborhood of three decades–they really ought to be better at it by now.
Here are a few headlines that captured the rough tenor of coverage of Hillary’s health woes over the past few weeks:
CNN (Aug. 24, 2016): Clinton’s health is fine, but what about Trump?
New York Post (Sept. 4, 2016): Dr. Drew loses show after discussing Hillary’s health
Washington Post (Sept. 6, 2016): Can we just stop talking about Hillary Clinton’s health now?
Sarah Silverman (Sept. 8, 2016): “I think anyone bringing up her health is a f***ing a**hole”
The wheels officially came off the bus on Sunday when Hillary Clinton seized up and passed out on camera. Suddenly, asking questions about her health no longer indicted you as an un-person who should be sent off to the re-education camps.
Clinton’s bout of unconsciousness was the catalyst for a whole host of lies from her campaign about her health. Unfortunately, the lies didn’t really make any sense to those with the neural capacity to recall the old lies that were issued right before all the new lies.
Let’s take a look at all the different, and contradictory, explanations we’ve had for Hillary Clinton’s health problems over the last week, going back to her nearly unwatchable coughing attack on September 5: